Letters to Our Children | January, 2014

Each month in 2014, I will be taking part in a project with other photographers as we write letters to our children.  Each month I will take turns writing to one of my boys.  This is my first month, and this is for Silas.

My Baby Boy… My Silas,

I know you aren’t a baby anymore.  You’re all of five.  A whole hand.  And before I know it, you will be six, which sounds inexcusably old.  But you know, the saying is true, “You’ll always be MY baby.”  And oh, how thankful I am!  I’m doing this project, you see… Letters to Our Children.  It’s a way of sharing a part of me with you… for you to see where we are today, what’s on my heart, what my prayers are like for you, and where you are at this moment in time.

I chose you this month because you’ve been sick.   It’s the same Dragon* that raises his head from time to time, that same Dragon you slay fearlessly.  But this time, I think, is harder on me than at others.  You see, there were about 2 years when we were Dragon-free.  Sure, you were tired and little and we had to fight for every pound you put on, but that was okay.  And then recently the Dragon started stalking you again.  And it broke my heart a little because I hoped and prayed, deep inside, that maybe he was gone for good.

But you are fearless with this Dragon!  You are brave and strong!  And you fight him with a laugh and a smile and a fire in your eyes!  And with prayer!  We pray so much together, and it’s the brightest part of my day.  I love hearing your love for Jesus pour out of your heart in your words to Him.  I love your trust.  Your unfailing, never-questioning, anchor-grasping, mountain-moving, Dragon-slaying trust rooted in the promises found in His inerrant Word!  It’s beautiful.  Heart-shatteringly beautiful!  You praise Him for His creation, each and every day.  You praise Him for salvation because, even though you are a dear, you are not a perfect dear, and you know you need His rescuing.  You praise Him for His justice and His gentleness.  And you beg Him to “beturn” (return) soon!  How moving to this mommy’s soul!

Thank you for being my precious boy.  My rocket ship, who utters the sweetest words of love in my ear.  My little poet with a soldier’s heart!  I love your love-notes to me, “Silas, to Moe.”  I love being your ‘Moe.’ I love looking at you across the room and seeing you wink at me.  ::be still my heart::  I pray each and every day that the Lord will raise you up as a man who Loves Him fearlessly!  And that He will equip you, physically, for each and every task He has in store for you.  And that your body will be strong to match your brave heart and determined soul.  I pray that you will continue to fall on your face, literally, before Him daily in trust and joyful obedience.  That He will raise you up to be His man in the days to come.

In the meantime, I love that I get to snuggle with you when you’re sick.  I love that I get to sing, “God is in the heavens” to you, like my mom sang to me.  I love that I can wipe your face with a damp cloth and give you ginger-ale ’till your little heart is content.  And we can watch, “Gator Boys” in the middle of the night while you’re trying to build up courage to take your medicine, which you hate.  I love your messy hair and your fever-flushed cheeks, they mean I get to care for you in a special way.  But even more, I love your belly laughs… because they spread joy to everyone you meet.  I don’t mind not getting much sleep because it means more hours to listen to you breathe, to feel your little hand in mine, to hold you close.  You are my precious baby boy, and oh, how I love you so!

Love you,

Mommy

*This post is very personal to me because it discusses Silas’ genetic disorder – Mitochondrial Disease.  We are so blessed with this precious boy, and so thankful that his case is very mild.  But occasionally, we have some ups and downs, and right now is one of the downs.  Since it’s so heavy on my heart, it was my chosen topic for this month’s Letter.

To read more from our circle, go see the gorgeous photos and the precious letter from the very talented ALLISON MOORE on her blog.  Continue through each letter to hear our stories and meet our families.